I mean… really, Law and Order: SVU?

I didn’t see last night’s episode, which apparently featured a guest turn by the great Isabelle Huppert. I hope I never do see it. Because this description of it at Movieline, recounted in exasperation and disbelief, is an event in itself. It’s painting such vivid, hilarious pictures in my imagination, why bother with the actual show?

· Did Sophie really shoot Melinda Warner when her husband ducked?
· Did Stabler really crawl through an airduct to break up the Marlowe/Sophie stand-off?
· Did Marlowe really attempt to talk Sophie off the ledge by recounting her own double mastectomy that cost her her lover?
· Did the pistol-wielding Huppert really keep a straight face while delivering lines like “You can tell God — in person!” to the husband who tearfully confessed to the fatally botched kidnapping?
· Did Marlowe really offer the boy’s corpse to Sophie, like a peace offering, entreating, “Your son needs you!”
· Did I really see Michael Haneke’s favorite devastated heroine cradling and singing a French lullaby to her dead kid on a morgue floor?

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