Somewhere, the real Aslan is feeling betrayed.

There are going to be FOUR soundtrack albums for The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Not two. Not three. But four.

(Five is right out.)

Can you say “overkill”? If they keep this up, my enthusiasm for this project will sour very quickly. (Thanks to PTC for the alert.)

One album will be the real soundtrack.

One will be a collection of fun stuff… you know, for kids.

One will be a collection of songs by pop and rock artists.

And since they’re not really legitimate pop and rock artists, but they don’t want to be left out, there will be an album of songs by Christian pop and rock artists. (That way, you see, young people will be able to buy an album of rock and roll and AVOID the evangelizing, while Christian young people can buy the Christian album and feel good about the idea that this movie is spreading the gospel. Moreover, this helps Christian young people continue to believe there is a line between what is ‘secular’ and what is ‘sacred’… which is utter crap.)

I’d like to recommend twelve more soundtrack albums, while we’re at it:

12. Celine Dion’s Optional Songs for the End Credits of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

11. Narnia Jazz, featuring Kenny G.

10. Carman’s The Champion II: Aslan Vs. the White Witch

9. Aslan’s Big Hair Heavy Metal Collection

8. Narnia Serious Jazz, featuring little-known artists that know what jazz really is.

7. Christopher O’Riley Plays the Narnia Soundtrack on the Piano

6. American Idol contestants perform the songs from the rock-and-roll Narnia album

5. The best of the Narnia fast-food tie-in jingles

4. Leonard Nimoy’s “The Ballad of Mr. Tumnus” (Hey, he DID record “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”!)

3. John Debney’s The Passion of Aslan (featuring uncredited borrowings from Peter Gabriel’s Passion)

2. John Williams’s I Was the Obvious Choice to Score The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

and…

1. Michael Jackson in Narnia: Songs for Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve… especially Sons of Adam

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