In Round One of “Christian Movie Review Editing Lessons,” readers had a lot of fun discovering just how much could be done to improve the review in question. So now, in the name of excellence, here’s Round Two.

When I visited a popular Christian fim review Web site last week looking for reviews of The Forgotten, I came across this one. But I had difficulty finding anything that I could quote from it … anything that amounted to a well-written statement addressing the quality of the film. Here’s the concluding paragraph of the review:

The Forgotten has as many chase scenes as any Batman film. The camera gives the plot away, whether intentionally or not. What the film does have going for it are a few startling rather than frightening moments. What could have been a genuine horror is reduced to a footnote. Julianne Moore does the proper amount of emoting and so does Dominic West, but that leaves the rest of the cast with nothing to do. Most of the scenes are shot in darker-than-average rooms, and the lack of continuity in one scene is especially irritating as the actors walk into a room in daylight and then through the windows of the next room, we see it is night outside. You will think of Psychology 101 in different terms after The Forgotten.

If the Web page in question has an editor, what should the editor do to improve this paragraph?

 

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